Why Women Apologize Often and Why They Need to Stop
Women tend to say, “I’m sorry” far too often in the workplace. If you disagree, just start observing and listening to the women around you.
Women who continually apologize for actions and behaviors not their own do so for many reasons including some of the following.
Women take on guilt and apologize to:
excuse or dismiss mistakes done by others
protect the status-quo and feelings of others
escape conflict with someone
avoid offending another person
side step disapproval from someone
keep the peace and avoid someone’s anger
Apologies Can Sabotage
Whatever the reason, when a woman apologizes too often, the consequences can sabotage her relationship with her subordinates, coworkers, and managers. It can compromise her authority and position and even her ability to advance.
The following are some consequences for saying “I’m sorry” too often:
If you start a conversation with “I’m sorry,” you begin from a weak position, especially when your behavior had nothing to do with the situation
If you apologize too often, then people won’t take you seriously or they may think you are just too sensitive
When apologies come too quickly and too frequently, people won’t believe your sincerity
By apologizing you soften what you have to say, or diminish your point, instead of being assertive and direct
With inappropriate apologies women can be perceived as insecure, inept, passive, and a target for future blame
When you so readily accept blame, it’s easy for others to manipulate you and dump on you
Links to Good Reads About Why Women Apologize
If you are concerned about apologizing excessively, and in fact know that you have a habit of saying “I’m sorry” too often, Julianna Brienes, PhD of Psychology Today, offers, “If you suspect you may be an over-apologizer, here are some ideas for keeping your apologies in check”. Her ideas are great…read more
Why Women Need to Stop Apologizing
On the popular website Daily Worth, Author Kara Andersen shares, “But I don’t love that sometimes I apologize when I should be standing my ground, or that I disadvantage myself and other women by defaulting to a passive role — the unassertive female stereotype — in order to salvage an agreement, a truce.” . . . read more
I'm Sorry, but Women Really Need to Stop Apologizing
TIME.com Contributing Columnist Jessica Bennett adds, “Sorry is a crutch — a tyrannical lady-crutch. It’s a space filler, a hedge, a way to politely ask for something without offending, to appear ‘soft’ while making a demand. It falls in the same category as I hate to ask’ or ‘I know this is a stupid question’ or another version of ‘No offense, but’ or ending your statements with a question.” . . . read more
Sorry to ask but ... do women apologize more than men?
Kelly Wallace, of CNN, imparts, “Every time I say ‘sorry’ for bumping into my husband in the kitchen or knocking over a glass of water or selecting the wrong burrito from the freezer -- events that don't require an apology -- my husband questions why I'm apologizing.” . . . read more
Since this is a heavy and important topic, read on to gain more perspective...
23 Things Women Say Sorry For All the Time (But Don’t Actually Need To Apologize For) by Gabrielle Moss
Amy Schumer’s ‘I’m Sorry’ Skewers A Culture That Makes Women Apologize Constantly
Sorry, Not Sorry—Why Women Need To Stop Apologizing For Everything
by Gwen Moran