Sharing Too Much in the Workplace
Alice Tutunjian
Most of us spend more time with co-workers than we do with family and friends. Our colleagues become a part of our daily ecosystem and sharing personal information or issues at work can be a natural outlet. Some of us are so familiar with our colleagues that we engage in activities outside of work and even become close friends over the years.
Who doesn’t like sharing exciting news like announcing a wedding, talking about an upcoming birthday party or a recent vacation. How about discussing issues you have with your boyfriend? Where do you draw the line? Keeping defined boundaries between personal life and work life can be problematic. Not everything is black and white, and knowing when sharing too much personal information can backfire and jeopardize a promotion, job or reputation can be challenging.
If you are struggling with what constitutes appropriate or inappropriate information in the workplace, ask yourself these questions before you decide to share. Always think with the end in mind- the consequences.
Ask yourself. Will what I am about to share…
- Impact my career/job/reputation in a negative way in the short or long term?
- Enhance my effectiveness, build my credibility?
- Enrich relationships and create trust with co-workers and manager?
- Impact my overall image in the company?
- Distract me from my immediate objectives and long-term goals?
- Cost the company money. How much money have I cost the company requiring someone to listen to my personal issues/stories? Moreover, does my manager notice?
- Be used against me in the future by senior management and colleagues?
- Become the subject of gossip?
- Stand in the way of a raise or promotion?
- Be considered inappropriate by some people?
- Insult others?
Why such a huge emphasis on this topic?
Because you want to be the one who is given a raise, recognized for her leadership efforts, not overlooked because your focus is on your personal life at work. Moreover, you may be regarded as someone who doesn’t know how to be to be professional and overlooked for promotions or leadership roles. Worse yet, someone who can’t be trusted because she talks about and shares everything.
Sadly, when you share too much personal information, others may use the information to gossip about you, or use the information against you.
Even though you may think people will keep your information confidential, chances are they will not. You can’t trust everyone. Best rule of thumb is that if you don’t want something repeated, don’t share it in the first place.
On the other hand, you are not a robot and which means sharing some personal information, as long as it is insignificant or superficial should be safe. For example, if a colleague asks you how you celebrated your birthday weekend, it’s perfectly alright to say that you had a wonderful evening dinner out with family and friends at a favorite restaurant. You can talk about your kids, pet, your favorite places to visit, etc. But don’t dwell on the topics forever, just short brief chats should do. On the other hand, you want to avoid topics such as your recent medical exam, sex life, religious beliefs, dissatisfaction with your job, with your boss and politics. Get the picture?
Links to Good Reads About Sharing Too Much in the Workplace
How Much is Too Much Information
Career Planning Expert, Dawn Rosenberg McKay uses a great metaphor, “A dog that wants to show a more dominant dog that it is submissive will roll over to expose its belly. That may be what you are unintentionally doing when you share something that reveals your weaknesses. Your subordinates may take advantage of this knowledge. It can also influence your employer if you are under consideration for a promotion to a managerial position…read more
5 Things to Never Reveal About Yourself at Work
Writer Robin Madell explains, “Whether you're a new grad preparing to start your first job or a seasoned industry veteran, the rules are the same when it comes to "TMI" in the workplace”. She offers up 5 topics which should not be shared in the workplace…read more
Although this article by professors Rosh and Offermann is targeted at leaders, they remind us that “Open books talk endlessly about themselves, about others, about everything; they’re too comfortable communicating. So although colleagues may seek them out as sources of information, they ultimately don’t trust them”…read more